So Sore...

I think I'll take the rest of this week as a prerequisite week before officially starting the main workout. I've only done one day and my whole by is so sore---I hurts to even walk to sit. I need to stretch it out and do warm up activities for the rest of the week, with light work out to get my muscles ready to be moving. But I am STICKING to this! xoxo

My Emmanuel

Dear Emmanuel Mendoza, You are the one for me, and the one I belong with. Simple reasons are the more obvious ones: One, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART. Two: you're just freaking gorgeous. Three: You're the nicest guy I've ever met. I can list down 103702387429834987 more reasons why I love you, but it is besides the point of this post. I just want to say, thank you, for being there for me always. You're always looking out for me, and I don't think there's anyone else in the world that would love and care for me like you do You're always there for me, 10000000000000% percent. You're my strength when I am weak, and I want you to know that I try to do the same to you. More importantly, thank you for your ongoing honesty. You're always so honest to me. Sometimes, your honesty can hurt a little bit, but that's the bittersweet taste of it all: you don't lie and mean you mean every word you say. The man who never promised. I think that's why I've liked you so much from the very beginning, and I want to say thank you for pushing me on. I know that this is only the beginning of this body reshaping phase, but I think that you're the cause of it all. Without you, I'll never realize any of this. I've been so used to the "no, you don't need to lose weight, you're fine the way you are" crap, that when you said "you should world out to be fit" became a :O moment. I just want to say that I'm doing it for you, yes, but I want to thank you for making me realize that I deserve it and that I should be doing this for me. More importantly, I want to thank you for making it clear that you dont care what I look like, what size I wear, or how big my stomach is. I want to thank you for accepting and loving me unconditionally for what I am, and supporting me all the way with the choices I make. Thank you for getting me to realize this, even if I know I'm really late on it. And, I want to say, YOU WERE RIGHT ALL ALONG. I hope to be with you forever, just so you can be proud of what I'll accomplish with this, and what we can accomplish together. I want to make you happy too, so my goal is to not only be fit for the next year, but to make you happy (as it was my goal for the past 3 years) I love you dearly. Thank you for everything. You're the best gift I can ever hope to receive: for birthdays, for christmas, for anything. You are the best. I love you. Sincerely yours, Me <3

Day one: December 25, 2012 I've been in and out of working out this whole year, but I think i've done a lot more this year than any other year, so even if it wasn't successful, I'm happy to say that I know I can push it. If I can push it hard enough, I know I can do it. The only thing that's so negative about me is my laziness. I need to stay committed and to stay focused on this. My goal is to be 120 or 115. I want to be fit and lose my tummy. I want to make my butt a little big, and lose a little bit of my chest by making them more up and firmer. I've seen some successful stories in ointeresT and I've really been inspired by the women that I have seen. If a girl more than 200+ pounds can get to 120 over time, I think me being 130-140ish can reach 120-115 by the end of next year, I don't want to make excuses anymore. I want to LOOK GOOD. I don't want to be skinny, I wanna be fit.

Just because I don't want to doesn't mean I won't. I wonder sometimes what the alternatives are and the possibilities . I only with